Going To The Grammys With The Grays
by angeliina
Summary: Now a THREE-SHOT. "I'll have you know, I paid two thousand dollars for my gown,"...."I'll have you know...."..."Dad, I got her number,"
1. Chapter 1

"Jared, you button up your blazer this instant," Mitchie instructed.

"Mom, this is the Grammy's! I can't look like a total loser," Jared fought.

"You can either look like the loser at the Grammy's or be the loser who spends every Saturday night with his parents,".

After that was said, Jared didn't hesitate to button up his black blazer.

"Mitch, does my hair look okay?" Shane asked for the fifth time since they had gotten into the limo.

"Honey, yes. It alw-,"

"Doesn't matter. Mom is the one up for a Grammy," Jared cut in.

"Jared you are-," Shane began.

"Look we're here!" Mitchie pointed out.

"I can't believe I'm going to walk the red carpet!" Jared squealed, "I mean...we're here. Yeah, that's cool,".

"Here sweetie, let me fix your hair," Mitchie said, "Be careful that you don't trip, you can be very clumsy when you're excited,".

"Mom, I do not. Gosh, I'm not a little kid, I can walk on the special carpet and not look like an idiot,".

"Special carpet," Shane snickered.

"That's what your father said the first time and those videos are still on YouTube," Mitchie said.

"Hey, my foot got caught, and the people at the emergency room had a good laugh," Shane said.

The limo door opened and the three were assisted out. The Gray family walked down the red carpet, pausing every few seconds to stop and pose for pictures.

"Mitchie! Shane, over here!" A paparazzi called.

Shane and Mitchie began their way to the sea of cameras, stopping when Jared froze.

"Honey, what are you looking at?" Mitchie asked.

"...My wife," Jared whispered.

"What are you talking about?" Mitchie almost yelled.

"My wife,"

"Jared, what are you talking about?" Shane demanded.

"Let's go, she's moving, she's moving," Jared said, dragging both his parents.

"MITCHIE, SHANE" another paparazzi called, "Over here,"

After more time of walking the carpet, answering reporters, and throwing the occasional evil eye from Mitchie, the family was ready to be seated.

"Who are we going to sit next to?" Jared whispered/complained.

"Uhm," Shane looked around at their assigned table, "Miley, her daughter, Hayden Penettiere-,"

"My wife," Jared beamed.

"And her boyfriend," Shane added.

"Not for long," Jared planned.

"Oh no, here comes Miley," Mitchie whispered.

"Oh, what an unfortunate coincidence," Miley said.

"Oh honey, yes your dress is,"

"I will have you know I paid two thousand dollars for my gown," Miley said.

"I will have you know, your dress looks like shit...just like you,"

"Go Mom!" Jared said.

Jared continued to watch the word fight in awe, until someone took a seat next to him.

"Hi,"

"Hey," he replied.

"I'm Milly,"

"Milly? That's like really close to Mile-,"

"I know! Isn't it awesome?" Milly said.

"Suuure," Jared drawled out.

"So, I had a totes fabu idea! You and me should totally go out! Your parents are famous and so is my Mom, we have its like...an unwritten law,"

"Totes what?" Jared said before turning to his father.

"Dad, she's hitting on me, trade me seats," he whispered.

"Nope, your face was on that one," Shane replied.

"Gosh, I hate you,"

"Soo, tomorrow. You and me and Rodeo Drive. We'll shop, you'll carry my things, paparazzi will take pictures. And the next thing we know, we're Hollywood's next 'It' couple," Milly said.

"My people will talk to your people," Jared said with a smile.

"Jare, you have no people," Shane whispered.

"Exactly,".

"Hey everyone," Hayden said approaching the table.

"Dad! Its her!"

"Excuse me Milly, you're in my seat," Hayden said nicely.

"No. I think your seat is in the dumpster outside," Milly spat.

"See Shane, she takes after her Mother," Mitchie said.

"My seat please," Hayden said sternly

Milly rolled her yes, got up and went to sit by her mother, looking very unhappy.

"Hayden isn't your boyfriend joining us?" Mitchie asked.

"Oh no, he came down with the flu," she said.

"What a shame," Jared said with a grin, "Score,".

"Thank you ladies and gentleman for joining us tonight for these wonderful awards," the announcer began.

--

"And the award goes to...,"

–

"How the hell did that skank win my award!" Mitchie yelled as they entered their home.

"I got digits!" Jared sang, "And she said we should definitely hang out sometime,".

"My damn award!" Mitchie shouted.

"I got her number! I got her number WOO!" Jared sang while trying to get his parents to join his one-man conga line.

"MY DAMN AWARD," Mitchie roared.

"Holy cow! My Mom has been replaced by Godzilla," Jared exclaimed.

"Come on Mitchie, we'll go upstairs and have a good nights sleep and tomorrow you can begin you plans to destroy Miley," Shane said.

Shane began taking an upset Mitchie upstairs.

"Dad, I got her number," Jared said pointing to a piece of paper.

As they passed him Shane put his hand up to give him a high five.

"Don't even think about it," Mitchie said.

Shane's hand immeaditely went down.

...TO BE CONTINUED...

**Okay, so this particular one shot is going to have two parts to it so I guess it's a Two shot. Yah. Review.**


	2. Chapter 2

Shane to the loud sound of rustling papers. He turned and saw Mitchie's spot empty.

"Mitch? Babe? Where are you?" he asked.

"I'm right here," Mitchie said.

She was sitting on the floor, surrounded by a bunch of papers.

"What are you doing?" Shane asked.

"Planning, dear husband," Mitchie said.

"Come on Mitch, it's three in the morning, come back to bed," Shane said, getting off bed and walking over to Mitchie.

"I'll be right there," Mitchie said, scribbling something down in a notebook.

Shane knelt next to his wife and looked at the papers, which appeared to be blueprints.

"Mitch, is this Miley's house?"

"Yup,"

Shane tore the papers from his wife's hands.

"Honey, it's 3 a.m., How long have you been up?" Shane asked.

"I never went to sleep," Mitchie stated, "Everything has to be perfect Shane, she's going to regret ever receiving my award. It's mine Shane, all mine, mine, mine, mine"

Shane stiffled a laugh and placed his hands on Mitchie's shoulder, "Mitchie, you need sleep,"

Mitchie sighed, "I guess you're right, I'm just overreacting,"

"Exactly, now go to bed, I'll pick everything up," Shane instructed.

Mitchie nodded and went to the bed, Shane began stacking all the papers and picked up a few business cards. Shane didn't see anything out of the ordinary.

Until...

**No Regrets**

**Hitman**

**You hate them, We take care of them**

**No Refunds**

Shane tore the card to tiny bits and made a mental note to remove all sharp objects from the house.

--

The Next Morning.....

Shane woke up to find the spot on the bed next to him empty. His my-wife-is-going-to-kill-someone instincts quickly got to work and he turned on the t.v. expecting to see Mitchie on the local news, the anchors announcing how Mitchie is going to jail for breaking and entering...and murdering Miley of course.

But nothing seemed to lead to the worst case scenerio.

Shane raced out of the bedroom. Running around the house until he reached the kitchen, where Mitchie was...Frosting a cake?

"Sweetheart, what are you doing?" Shane asked.

"Baking a cake," she replied, putting a piece of cake in front of Shane as he sat down at the table.

"Mitchie seems. Mellow. As if nothing had happened last night," Shane thought as he was about to eat the cake.

"Is it good? I was thinking about sending Miley a cake...with a certain recipe," Mitchie said as Shane almost ate some of the cake.

Shane's eyes widened as the piece almost entered his mouth. Seeing that Mitchie had begun to wash dished he threw the piece of cake out the window, then hitting the floor.

"Duck and cover, duck and cover," he thought, "My wife is unstable at the moment,".

"Shane, what are you doing on the floor?" Mitchie asked.

"I dropped..," My sanity, "My fork,".

"Oh ok. Well did you like the cake?"

"Y-yeah. It was great,"

"Well could you get Jared. I want a second opinion," Mitchie said.

"Uh...sure," Shane said.

Shane went upstrairs to Jared's room. Where he couldn't find him.

"Jare, where are you?"

"Leave me alone!" Jared yelled from the bathroom.

Shane stomped off to the bathroom.

"Young man, you do not speak to your father like th-...what are you doing?" Shane asked.

Jared stood in front of his toilet, about to throw his phone into it.

"Will you leave me alone?!"

"Aww...but Jare-bear,"

"Milly leave me alone," Jared said, about to throw his phone.

Shane took it and closed it.

"We'll get your number changed," Shane said.

"Thanks Dad,"

"No problem. Your mother wants you down stairs...whatever you do. Don't eat the cake,".

"There's cake? I want cake," Jared said, running past Shane.

"Jared! NOO!"

--

"It's so good Mom," Jared piped.

"Thank you sweetie," Mitchie said, placing another piece on Jared's plate.

"Shane you want another piece?" Mitchie asked.

Shane looked at Jared. He was still alive, hasn't blown up or gotten poisoned. And the cake looks really good.

"What the hell," he thought.

"Shane?" Mitchie called.

"Huh, oh yeah, sure,"

--

That night...

"DAD!" Jared called. He raced down the stairs and ran in to his father.

"Dad, Dad, Dad," Jared repeated.

"What Jared? Don't you see I'm busy being paranoid," Shane questioned. At the moment he sat on the living room floor.

"She called!" Jared yelled.

"Milly called? I thought we changed your number?"

Jared rolled his eyes, "Not Milly! My wife!"

"Oooh. What did she say?" Shane asked.

"She wants to hang out tomorrow! Can I go, can I go, can I go?" Jared begged.

(A/N: Isn't he so adorable, he wants to hang out -and marry- someone his father's age)

"Uhm, sure Jared,"

"Good, now I have to go Google her to make sure I know all her favorite things,".

"That's only mildly psycho...compared to Mitchie anyways," Shane thought.

--

Even later that night...

Shane awoke to go to the bathroom, only to see Mitchie not in bed...again. Shane raced down the stairs seeing Mitchie almost leaving the house.

"Mitchie,"

"Shit," she cursed, "Yeah,"

"Where are you going?" Shane asked.

"To umm...go walk the dog,"

"We don't have a dog,"

"You know what I'm going to go and get us a dog...I was thinking about a pit bull,".

Shane noticed that Mitchie was hiding one of her arms behind her back.

"What are you holding?" Shane asked.

"Nothing,"

Shane raised an eyebrow and pretended to brush of the curiosity.

"Well I'm going back to bed," Shane lied and leaned in to give his wife a kiss, but he swiftly reached behind Mitchie and grabbed what she was holding.

"Dammit," she muttered.

"Mitch, is this a...a bomb? What are you planning to do bomb her car. Honey this is illegal,"

"Mom, you ready to go? Jared asked coming down the stairs dressed in all black.

"Jare?" Shane questioned.

"Shit," the young boy muttered.

"You're in this too?"

"Well someone has to throw a bomb in Milly's room," Jared said nonchalantly.

"Where the hell did you two get all these explosives?" Shane demanded.

"Explosives? Dad, they're stink bombs," Jared said.

Shane stayed silent, not really sure what to say.

"So, can we go?" Jared asked after a minute or so.

Shane sighed and opened the door, "If you must,"

"Thanks honey, I'll see you later," Mitchie kissed his cheeck and then pulled a black ski mask over her face, as did Jared, "Come on Jare, let's move.

**…...….....TO BE CONTINUED.......again**

**Ok, so I'm extending this one more time. So I guess it's now a Three-Shot.**

**Review.**

**[angie]**


	3. Chapter 3

* * *

Shane climbed out of bed the next morning, not expecting his wife to be in bed of course.

"She's probably too busy plotting her next escapade for vengance," Shane thought.

Shane opened the bedroom door and started walking downstairs, still half asleep. That is until something started yapping at his feet. He looked down and saw a small dog wanting to gnaw on his toes. He stared at it for a minute or so.

Until...

It went...on his foot.

"MITCHIE!" Shane called out.

"Yeah?" Mitchie poked into the room.

"What is that?" he damanded as he pointed at the dog as if it had just commited murder.

"Uhh, a puppy,"

Shane rolled his eyes, "I know that, I mean what is it doing in our house?"

"Oh well after Jared finished throwing the stink bomb in Milly's room we got chased by dogs, so I thought: Miley has dogs....I should have a dog, so I got a dog," Mitchie said with a smile.

"Just like that?" Shane questioned.

Mitchie nodded.

"Did you have to get something...like that?" Shane asked.

"Well I was talking to Jessica-," Mitchie began.

"Alba?" Jared asked.

"Yes,"

"She's hot," Jared responded.

"Anywho, I was talking to Jess and she said that Yorkshire Terriers were all the rage. So obviously had I had to get one. Unlike Miley who still thinks Chihuahas are the 'it' dog. That little yapper has a bigger brain than Miley,"

"Mitchie, you sound like something out of..like...The Hills or something," Shane said.

"Heidi is hot," Jared said.

"Mitchie, the dog has to go back," Shane ordered.

Mitchie pouted.

"Mitchie, I mean it," Shane tried not to cave.

"Shane...can I keep the puppy?" Mitchie said, tears forming in her eyes, "It's just when I'm home alone it would be nice to have some companionship,".

Shane let out a loud sigh.

"Fine," he breathed.

"Oh thank you Shane. I promise you won't regret keeping the little puppy," Mitchie lunged and attached herself to her husband.

"Come on Bruiser, girl," Jared said picking up the puppy, "I'll potty train you on pictures of Milly,".

Jared went upstairs, cooing to the puppy.

"Atleast it's getting trained," Shane said.

--

The family sat in the lounge room, watching tv. Shane kept changing the channels ever few seconds.

"Just choose something," Jared yelled.

"Sheesh, fine,"

"And in latest celebrity news...Miley Stewarts' Hollywood home was bombed. Now don't be getting excited, it was only a stink bomb...,"

Shane looked at his wife and son who were grinning like idiots.

"Two masked figures were seen running from the premises while being chased by dogs,"

Jared's eyes bulged.

"Mom! We're caught. They know it's us! Mom, I can't go to jail! I'm too hot for jail!" Jared panicked.

"Jared shut up. The don't know its us," Mitchie said rolling her eyes.

"I smell a hint of a jealous rival," one of the show's anchors laughed.

"Ohmygod! They know it's us! I can't go to jail," Mitchie yelled.

"Smooth mom,"

"Shut up Jared! Guys start packing. We're, we're moving to..uh..uh..Slovakia," Mitchie said.

"Mitchie...calm down please," Shane said.

Mitchie took several deep breaths.

"Okay," she said with a smile, "Get packing,"

"Mitchie we are not moving anywhere, they're just trying to stir up some drama," Shane said.

"Yeah...yeah your right. Okay," Mitchie said, "No one is allowed to leave the house for the rest of the week,"

"Correction, you aren't allowed to leave. This afternoon I have a date with my woman," Jared said.

"Jared, Hayden is not to be referred as your woman," Shane said.

"It's like I am the only sane one left in this family," Shane thought.

--

_**BEEP!**_

"Holy effing cow! Dad! She's here. It's Hayden! NO WAY! I'm like..about to pass out! AHH!" Jared screamed.

Shane took him and shook him slightly.

"Jared listen to me,"

"Dad, I am listening," Jared said...slightly...loopy.

"That was a Connect 3 fangirl moment. Never do that again," Shane ordered.

_**BEEP BEEP!**_

"Gotta go Dad, my woman awaits," Jared said, running out the door.

--

Shane sat on the couch and sighed when he heard the door slam.

"Jared is that you?" Shane called out.

Jared enterred the living room and fell on to the seat opposite from his father.

"So how was shopping with your 'wife'?" Shane asked.

"The same as when I go with Meredith," Jared replied.

"You were holding purses and shopping bags again?" Shane laughed.

"Dad, girls suck."

"How so?"

"They only want you to go shopping with them, then tell them that they don't look fat in the Versace dress, then hold their purses when they are in the changing room for hours,"

Shane held back a laugh, "Hey be lucky your mother still puts up with me after the Versace dress incindent, don't hold it against me, I was half asleep,"

Jared looked at his father, "Is it always about you? We never talk about my feeling! It's always YOU YOU YOU!"

Jared stomped out of the room as his mother entered.

"Hey Honey, how was shopping with Hayden?" Mitchie asked unaware of her son's state of mind.

"Girls make you hold their purses then they will break your heart!"

Jared raced up the stairs and slammed his bedroom door.

Mitchie looked at Shane, "Well it went better than I thought,"

–_**Later That Night..**_

-ring, ring, ring-

Mithcie walked over to the phone and clicked it on.

"Hello,"

"Hello Mrs. Gray, this is Esther with the Grammy Awards committee,"

Mitchie rolled her eyes.

"Oh, yes. What can I do for you?"

"I just called to say, there was a miscount in your category. You are the winner of Best Album,"

"Oh, thank you," Mitchie said calmly.

"Congratulations, have a good evening,"

"You too,"

Mitchie put the phone back on the cradle, turning to Shane.

"I WON! I WON! ME! ME!" Mitchie screamed.

Shane hugged her before she could start a speech.

"Congrats babe," he said.

"Mom! Mom!" Jared yelled, running down the stairs, "Guess who texted me!".

"Jared! I won the Grammy!"

"Yeah, yeah...So Mom, what do you think about Reese Witherspoon?"

* * *

**Bleh.**

**This is probably the worst out of all three parts.**

**I dislike it with passion.**

**But that's the end.**

**REVIEW!**

**[*angie]**


End file.
